Commentary on Las Vegas
“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” A cheesy and misleading slogan for the thousands of Middle-American suburbanites and trailer-parkites who flock here to live out their dreams of “loads of money” and wild forbidden sex – both of which remain eternally out of their reach. The only thing that “stays in Vegas” is their money. Oh, and the money they don’t have.
America’s beautiful people aren’t here. Unless they’re doing a gig at one of the larger hotels (rarely). But most billboards and marquees show a washed-up has-been. Almost fell out of my chair laughing (except I was walking) when I saw – up in lights – Donny and Marie headlining a major hotel on the Strip. Middle America’s answer to the Jackson Five. Where’s the Brady Bunch? Cher, still here after all these years. And, to capture the adolescent men, the Ultimate Fighting Championships.
The dress code – “business casual”. So I asked, “What does that mean?” sensing a slight difference in local interpretation. No need for a suit, not even a blazer. The polite young lady replied, “We just say that to keep out the sports apparel crowd.” She really meant “the slobs in sweats”. Unfortunately, they’re not having much luck. There is no dress code in Vegas. Maybe “business casual” means “it is our business to casually take all your money”.
Almost forgot to mention the shopping. The M&M’s store, the Coca-Cola store. Sure there’s also a Fendi, a Prada. Somehow I imagine the M&M’s sweatshirt doing better at the bowling alley than the Gucci man-purse.
Guess who came with us? Four hundred and twelve tour buses. Filled to the brim with lovely Asian tourists and hung-over Nebraskan couples wearing “sports apparel”. There may have been some Kansans in the group.
We found a nice – and seemingly authentic – Japanese restaurant. Surprisingly, there was no line-up. Unlike at the Denny’s and Chucky Cheese’s, or the $29.95 all-you-can-eat, all-day buffets in every hotel. Last night we ate at Mon Ami Gabi, in the Paris. Great bistro, again authentic, for not much more than it would have cost in a French bistro in Los Angeles or New York City.
The architecture is impressive – for the most part. There are some very kitschy attempts at King Arthur’s castle or the Manhattan skyline but the new Aria in the city centre is big-city merit-worthy. Admittedly, the lights are great, almost Times Square – almost.
I did play two slot machines. Stayed one penny up and quit. My wife stayed up 13 cents. My son who’s 18 is pissed that the gambling age, like the drinking age, is 21. But you can walk around drinking a Bud Lite with Lime. Apparently, there is a micro-brewery but it’s about 3 or 4 miles off the Strip.
My daughter was not feeling too well yesterday. Hopefully she’ll feel better today. We are going to check out the shark aquarium and we’ll try to find something else to do. We may check out the old Strip – apparently, it’s very sleezy, full of hookers, etc. We have also chosen our restaurant for this evening – a Creole/Cajun restaurant at the MGM Grand.
You might think I’m a tad judgemental, definitely an elitist. Let’s just say I like to pick my parties and my fellow party-goers. All said, however, I’m glad I came. Had to do it, perhaps I should have done it when I was younger. Now I can fairly say, “Been there, done that”, and won’t be coming back.
You should all experience Vegas once but don’t stay for more than two nights. And leave the sports apparel at home.
I left a bit of money here but it was mine. Nothing else stayed.
Photo of Las Vegas by Carly Boy
Related Posts
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas
Posted by WorkingShirt on 12/30/09 • Categorized as Commentary,Travel
Commentary on Las Vegas
“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” A cheesy and misleading slogan for the thousands of Middle-American suburbanites and trailer-parkites who flock here to live out their dreams of “loads of money” and wild forbidden sex – both of which remain eternally out of their reach. The only thing that “stays in Vegas” is their money. Oh, and the money they don’t have.
America’s beautiful people aren’t here. Unless they’re doing a gig at one of the larger hotels (rarely). But most billboards and marquees show a washed-up has-been. Almost fell out of my chair laughing (except I was walking) when I saw – up in lights – Donny and Marie headlining a major hotel on the Strip. Middle America’s answer to the Jackson Five. Where’s the Brady Bunch? Cher, still here after all these years. And, to capture the adolescent men, the Ultimate Fighting Championships.
The dress code – “business casual”. So I asked, “What does that mean?” sensing a slight difference in local interpretation. No need for a suit, not even a blazer. The polite young lady replied, “We just say that to keep out the sports apparel crowd.” She really meant “the slobs in sweats”. Unfortunately, they’re not having much luck. There is no dress code in Vegas. Maybe “business casual” means “it is our business to casually take all your money”.
Almost forgot to mention the shopping. The M&M’s store, the Coca-Cola store. Sure there’s also a Fendi, a Prada. Somehow I imagine the M&M’s sweatshirt doing better at the bowling alley than the Gucci man-purse.
Guess who came with us? Four hundred and twelve tour buses. Filled to the brim with lovely Asian tourists and hung-over Nebraskan couples wearing “sports apparel”. There may have been some Kansans in the group.
We found a nice – and seemingly authentic – Japanese restaurant. Surprisingly, there was no line-up. Unlike at the Denny’s and Chucky Cheese’s, or the $29.95 all-you-can-eat, all-day buffets in every hotel. Last night we ate at Mon Ami Gabi, in the Paris. Great bistro, again authentic, for not much more than it would have cost in a French bistro in Los Angeles or New York City.
The architecture is impressive – for the most part. There are some very kitschy attempts at King Arthur’s castle or the Manhattan skyline but the new Aria in the city centre is big-city merit-worthy. Admittedly, the lights are great, almost Times Square – almost.
I did play two slot machines. Stayed one penny up and quit. My wife stayed up 13 cents. My son who’s 18 is pissed that the gambling age, like the drinking age, is 21. But you can walk around drinking a Bud Lite with Lime. Apparently, there is a micro-brewery but it’s about 3 or 4 miles off the Strip.
My daughter was not feeling too well yesterday. Hopefully she’ll feel better today. We are going to check out the shark aquarium and we’ll try to find something else to do. We may check out the old Strip – apparently, it’s very sleezy, full of hookers, etc. We have also chosen our restaurant for this evening – a Creole/Cajun restaurant at the MGM Grand.
You might think I’m a tad judgemental, definitely an elitist. Let’s just say I like to pick my parties and my fellow party-goers. All said, however, I’m glad I came. Had to do it, perhaps I should have done it when I was younger. Now I can fairly say, “Been there, done that”, and won’t be coming back.
You should all experience Vegas once but don’t stay for more than two nights. And leave the sports apparel at home.
I left a bit of money here but it was mine. Nothing else stayed.
Photo of Las Vegas by Carly Boy
Related Posts
Tagged as: business casual, Chucky Cheese, Coca-Cola store, Denny's, Donny and Marie, dreams, dress code, Fendi, Gucci man-purse, Las Vegas, M&M's, MGM Grand, middle America, Mon Ami Gabi, money, Prada, the Strip