Chronic Stress Will Kill Me
The Elephant in the Room
I’m slowly learning the facts of life, but it’s taken me long enough to. Chronic stress will kill you. Who knew? Well, we all know. However, we seldom look at the stress levels in our lives until serious health issues come crashing down on us.
I finally had to admit that I had to learn to manage my stress, when after about year and a half of heart palpitations, waking up in the early morning at 1:50 a.m., and not being able to get back to sleep until about 15 minutes before it was time to wake up anyways and a slow but steady gain of fat especially around my waistline. I’ve learned that high cortisol and insulin levels spike up during the night between 2 – 4:00 a.m. Must be my problem. And high cortisol levels are the result of chronic stress.
This waking up at 2:50 a.m. was killing me at work and killing me in my personal life. A lack of sleep and a constant steady grinding of stress. Never any relief from it. My daily job was the major stressor in my life. On a daily basis, we are required to ignore the elephant in the room. Go figure.
My doctor had done a cortisol test on me about a year and a half ago. A cortisol test is performed in the early morning and again at 4:00 p.m. This is a simple blood test. A normal healthy person’s cortisol levels are high in the morning and decrease by the afternoon. My cortisol test results started high and ended high. My doctor gave me my results saying that if I didn’t handle my stress better, I would be facing serious health problems in a few years. I already had decreased thyroid activity which is known as hypothyroidism. I was already taking medicine for hypothyroidism.
I had tried everything to cure my sleeping problems, from wine, mild tranquilizers, extra strength Melatonin, anti-depressants to little blue prescription killer strength sleeping pills. Even the sleeping pills weren’t working. I began to feel like those movie stars who can’t sleep and turn to drugs and alcohol. Anna Nicole Smith was desperate for sleep. Michael Jackson had found his sleeping solution in a corrupt, greedy Hollywood doctor who gave him anaesthetic Propofol among other things. I was feeling desperate for sleep. Thank God, I wasn’t a rich movie star. I might be dead by now with the easy access to drugs and free flowing booze that movie stars seem to acquire as their star still shines a little brightly. I just didn’t have the budget of movie stars for self abuse.
Well, the pounding, racing heart and the lack of circulation in my right leg and right arm finally drove me to quit smoking. I didn’t quit to save money, I didn’t quit for my kid, I didn’t quit for my man, I didn’t quit because it smells bad and I really didn’t quit for health reasons. I quit out of ominous fear. Just fear, pure and simple black fear that while my heart was pounding and racing and I was smoking that I would just keel over die. I am not ready for death. Michael Jackson might have been, Anna Nicole wasn’t ready and neither am I.
It was back to the doctor for me who made me go and get a heart monitor to wear for 48 hours. A heart monitor records your heart beats. She tested my thyroid again, and yes, my hair was falling out, my waist was expanding, and I couldn’t sleep for the life of me – and my thyroid was down again. She upped my dosage of thyroid medication. And she told me to start drinking Whey Protein milkshakes, told me to take supplements everyday which include Vitamin D, B Complex, Omega 3s, Zinc, Selenium, and Chromium. I added to that cocktail some Manganese for some reason, I don’t remember. The Whey Protein milkshakes are a little gross to down, somewhat like a fruity, vanilla sludge, but I’ll get used to it.
I took three weeks off from my major stressor: work. I started exercising for the first time in so many years. All I do is a little yoga in the morning, not much, but it’s a start. Now my employer is requesting that I sign a form for my doctor to release my medical records. A total invasion of privacy. Ah, the stress, it never ends. So, I thought I’d blog about it and tell the world.
I’ve made some improvements to my health and I’m feeling a little better. A few baby steps taken. I am still taking the anti-depressant, the mild tranquilizer, and the melatonin when I wake up at 2:50 a.m. The doctor is waiting for my thyroid and DHEA blood test results. DHEA is supposed to be the natural antidote to high cortisol levels, so I hear.
The elephant is still in the room and I’m trying to ignore it.
Photo courtesy of garyhaq.files
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