Recent News - My Lost Car
My son’s penis grew about an inch this afternoon, that’s my news today, sorry for the imagery. Nothing about an erection and I’m hoping for his sake that wouldn’t mean an inch. No, and the guys will get this, this is a permanent thing, at least till he’s 49 years old.
Yes, my son went for his behind-the-wheel driving test. And he passed. That’s when he got the inch. Not without some DMV’s Nazi pain though. The DMV guy, that’s the California Department of Motor Vehicles for the unwashed, was rather nice. They call them Nazis here. Unlike his female cohort, who fined the guy next in line because his license plate had only one bolt.
So my son passed with flying colors. Too fast, too hard on the brakes, slow to avoid the pedestrian who jaywalked (who, according to the DMV guy, was in the wrong – gotta love American frontier litigation-ready rationale), but he still passed.
Little freak hugged me in the parking lot. My Dad left me there. I think I took the bus home. I made my son drive me to the liquor store, calm my nerves, you know. I didn’t get teary-eyed.
So now I have to call the insurance company. I can just imagine the reaction when the guy who answers the phone gets back up off the floor. “You gotta be kiddin’ me. Are you fuckin’ nuts?” He’ll pretend to be gracious, and politely refer to my wife’s driving record, at which time I’ll politely remind him that the other guy was drunk.
My son took the car out tonight, giggling like a teenage girl (so much for the extra inch). I told him the slightest scratch – a six month suspension of all privileges. He shook my hand. Deal.
So now we have three drivers and only one who is really safe, apart from the odd seizure on the Santa Monica Freeway on a sunny Friday afternoon driving home toward the beach.
It’s just another rite of passage for my son. Just like his earlier Prom Night. He’s almost a man.
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Lost Car
Posted by WorkingShirt on 3/23/10 • Categorized as Commentary
Recent News - My Lost Car
My son’s penis grew about an inch this afternoon, that’s my news today, sorry for the imagery. Nothing about an erection and I’m hoping for his sake that wouldn’t mean an inch. No, and the guys will get this, this is a permanent thing, at least till he’s 49 years old.
Yes, my son went for his behind-the-wheel driving test. And he passed. That’s when he got the inch. Not without some DMV’s Nazi pain though. The DMV guy, that’s the California Department of Motor Vehicles for the unwashed, was rather nice. They call them Nazis here. Unlike his female cohort, who fined the guy next in line because his license plate had only one bolt.
So my son passed with flying colors. Too fast, too hard on the brakes, slow to avoid the pedestrian who jaywalked (who, according to the DMV guy, was in the wrong – gotta love American frontier litigation-ready rationale), but he still passed.
Little freak hugged me in the parking lot. My Dad left me there. I think I took the bus home. I made my son drive me to the liquor store, calm my nerves, you know. I didn’t get teary-eyed.
So now I have to call the insurance company. I can just imagine the reaction when the guy who answers the phone gets back up off the floor. “You gotta be kiddin’ me. Are you fuckin’ nuts?” He’ll pretend to be gracious, and politely refer to my wife’s driving record, at which time I’ll politely remind him that the other guy was drunk.
My son took the car out tonight, giggling like a teenage girl (so much for the extra inch). I told him the slightest scratch – a six month suspension of all privileges. He shook my hand. Deal.
So now we have three drivers and only one who is really safe, apart from the odd seizure on the Santa Monica Freeway on a sunny Friday afternoon driving home toward the beach.
It’s just another rite of passage for my son. Just like his earlier Prom Night. He’s almost a man.
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Tagged as: California, Department of Motor Vehicles, Prom Night, rite of passage